How I Grow Good Relationships
Listening is the subtle half of a meaningful conversation. Nowadays, the art of listening has taken on new meaning - one in which challenges the art itself.
In Social Media, everyone has something to say, but few are actually listening - that is, first trying to understand before responding. Social media has changed how and where many people do their listening and fact-finding, but not the fundamental need to listen.
Listening is an art that requires daily dedication, discipline and skill-honing. It is the subtle half of a meaningful conversation. For many today, with earbuds tucked into their ears, the art of listening has taken on a different meaning. Fewer conversations, it seems, take place face-to-face. For those that do, it feels like the art of listening has evaporated, and we’re left with a series of one-way exchanges.
If you’re tuned in and genuinely interested, you’ll want to visit, in-person, with [warm] social media contacts to see whether there is an opportunity to help each other.
The practice of connecting on social media can give the appearance of creating something that, on the surface is genuine, but in reality is hollow and meaningless. For many, it’s simply a cold way to name-pile, without truly knowing or understanding who the connections are, and what value or needs you can provide or satisfy - on their terms.
I created a learning mnemonic — C.R.O.P. — which helps me grow good relationships, both digitally, and in-person.
Commonality — What is the thread that unites you and the person you’re engaging - fellow alumni, shared values?
Reciprocity — Once you have the thread established, how do you provide and give, without expecting anything in return?
Opportunity — What are the ways in which you can visit with the person, either face-to-face or, if need be, via Skype or Zoom, for example, and see what it is you can offer?
Purpose — What is the underlying nature of the relationship? What does the follow-up look like? What are you trying to nurture?
Give this learning aid a go; you’ll be surprised to see how effective it could be provided you’re listening and giving first, and often.
The Skills to Pay the Bills
Skills to Pay the Bills, a Beastie Boys song from the 90s, was on my mind during a recent trip to the New York Transit Museum in Brooklyn.
Skills to Pay the Bills, a Beastie Boys song from the 90s, was on my mind during a recent trip to the New York Transit Museum in Brooklyn.
The museum was celebrating the subway’s 115th birthday, and part of the event’s festivities included a ride on a vintage subway car. As we rolled out from the museum’s train platform, I played back the Beastie track in my mind, as the advertisement shown below crossed my eyes.
For many looking to re-invent themselves in a rapidly-changing workforce, with fluid skill and experience demands placed on them in roles for which they have no business applying [or so they have been not-so-subtly told], the tune has become their career soundtrack. The ad’s message and call-to-action mirrors what is now taking hold in today’s evolving labor marketplace; that is, what got you here is not going to get you there.
In the 1960s, as the labor force began to see a decline in the number of manufacturing jobs — a trend that still exists today — people were figuring out ways in which to refine their skills and anticipate which professions were most in demand.
According to the Bureau of Labor and Statistics, computer specialists and engineers were two professions which experienced some of the highest job growth during that period.. Today, those computer specialists and engineers have become your data scientists and full-stack programmers.
“Learning and leading are indispensable to each other.”
Even against a full-employment economy, learning, acquiring and applying new knowledge and skill to remain financially viable and compete in the next wave growth is a non-negotiable. It’s simple: if you don’t learn, you don’t grow. That maxim applies to everyone.
So, where can you go to get the training and develop the skill you need to remain marketable? Here are a few suggestions, which are of little or no cost.
Your Warm Network is a great resource to tap into and see who in your trusted circle can provide insight as to the knowledge and skill you want to acquire.
LinkedIn Learning has an educational trove of courses, ranging from mindfulness training to sales training. Here is a link on how you may be able to get LinkedIn Learning for free at your local public library.
Grow with Google is a fairly new initiative to help people across the U.S. grow their skills, careers and businesses. You can explore and participate in on-site workshops and receive 1-on-1 coaching, in-person. From now through September, the pop-up learning center is in New York City, but may be coming to a city near you.
Podcasts have been recently embraced as a language and learning tool, or an instructional or inspiring activity. Podcasts on Spotify are classified around educational, comedy, and lifestyle and health topics, to name a few.