How I Grow Good Relationships
In Social Media, everyone has something to say, but few are actually listening - that is, first trying to understand before responding. Social media has changed how and where many people do their listening and fact-finding, but not the fundamental need to listen.
Listening is an art that requires daily dedication, discipline and skill-honing. It is the subtle half of a meaningful conversation. For many today, with earbuds tucked into their ears, the art of listening has taken on a different meaning. Fewer conversations, it seems, take place face-to-face. For those that do, it feels like the art of listening has evaporated, and we’re left with a series of one-way exchanges.
If you’re tuned in and genuinely interested, you’ll want to visit, in-person, with [warm] social media contacts to see whether there is an opportunity to help each other.
The practice of connecting on social media can give the appearance of creating something that, on the surface is genuine, but in reality is hollow and meaningless. For many, it’s simply a cold way to name-pile, without truly knowing or understanding who the connections are, and what value or needs you can provide or satisfy - on their terms.
I created a learning mnemonic — C.R.O.P. — which helps me grow good relationships, both digitally, and in-person.
Commonality — What is the thread that unites you and the person you’re engaging - fellow alumni, shared values?
Reciprocity — Once you have the thread established, how do you provide and give, without expecting anything in return?
Opportunity — What are the ways in which you can visit with the person, either face-to-face or, if need be, via Skype or Zoom, for example, and see what it is you can offer?
Purpose — What is the underlying nature of the relationship? What does the follow-up look like? What are you trying to nurture?
Give this learning aid a go; you’ll be surprised to see how effective it could be provided you’re listening and giving first, and often.